Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen

Jan
2019

Erroneous Assumptions - the Stuff of High Drama

By Linda Larsen - Friday, January 11, 2019
Featured Image

Have you ever known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that something happened a certain way, only to find out later that it didn't actually happen that way at all? Does the following story sound familiar?

Juliet assumed that Romeo would get the message that she was going to drink a potion that would make it appear as if she were dead - when she wasn't really. He didn't.

Later Romeo found her lifeless body in a tomb, saw the empty poison bottle lying next to her and assumed that she was dead. She wasn't.

Overwhelmed by the loss of his true love, Romeo then killed himself with a knife. Juliet woke up moments later and found him lying dead next to her. Stricken with grief - she then killed herself.

Oh, the tragedy of erroneous assumptions.

Unfortunately, incorrect assumptions are not simply reserved for literature. They are occurring around us all the time. And because of them, conflicts occur, relationships are strained and actions are taken that may actually create a problem that wasn't ever there!

Example: Jill walks by Mark. He says "hi" and she doesn't respond. He assumes, "What's her problem?" He treats her a little coldly the rest of the day. She notices this and wonders why he's being so standoffish.  She decides not to invite him to lunch with the rest of the team.  Reality: Someone a few feet away coughed at the exact moment he spoke and she didn't hear him.

Do you see the trap here? Do you see how an erroneous assumption actually created a problem? And why do we make such negative assumptions? For one thing, some studies suggest that the average person has about 40,000 thoughts per day and that about 80 to 90 percent of them are negative. Well, there's part of the problem right there.

Another contributing factor may be our tendency to take things so personally. Most of the time, it isn't about us! We are simply not the center of everybody else's world!

The bottom line is this: we don't have to make these negative assumptions. We can make different, more empowering, and much wiser choices when confronted with these types of situations.

We could simply ask for clarification.  Mark could have said, "Jill, I noticed this morning when I said 'hi' to you, you didn't respond. That's not like you. Is something wrong?" That could have cleared things up right there. And if there really was a problem, the door has now been opened for discussion.

Here's another idea. When something happens and you find yourself starting to assume the worst, try doing the following 3 things:

  1. Stop.
  2. Simply breathe.
  3. Ask yourself, "What other possible, logical, positive reason could there be for this to have happened?" Keep asking the question until you find a reason that would make sense.
  4. Behave as if that explanation were true.

When you do this, you'll notice there's no negative energy around the event. You feel good, you are more pleasant to be around, people like you, and life is just a little easier.

Let's keep all that high drama where it belongs: in books, on the big screen and in television soap operas.

Linda Larsen, Speaker Hall of FameĀ® Keynote speaker, author and former professional comedic actress, brings entertaining, content-rich, hilarious and riveting presentations to conferences world-wide. She is passionate about helping people realize their fullest potential in every area of their lives and live with what she calls, "Honker Happiness." Best-selling author of 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem audio program, 5 video programs and the critically acclaimed book, True Power. She can be reached at http://www.lindalarsen.com and 941-927-4700


 

 

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!



Like this blog? Share it!



Recent Posts

Archive

Categories

Tag Cloud

back relief handling fear tension zig ziglar proactive people cheerleading gift ideas joy flying eyebrows Lenscrafters the business of motivational speaker gripers motivational speaker on communication Changing perspectives positive attitude motivational speaker on customer service customer service training patient service funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen expectations American Idol encouragement costumes good night's sleep how to get what you want stressful elections positive perspective Brian Walter multi-tasking complainers mental illness changing habits Shakespeare, thank-you notes marriage acting chronic back pain personal growth motivational speaker Linda Larsen power of a smile truth in politics nonverbal communication personal achievement actors Donald Trump customer service appreciation controlling your emotional state relationship building high self-esteem finding humor bucket list how to become a motivational speaker building character feeling good how to have high self-esteem stress management vision boards self talk mans search for meaning trust in relationships how to happy dental practice strategies communication fear of trump presidency successful dental practices PhotoShop friendships Dr. Phil motivational speaker Brad Montgomery getting to yes how to deal with negative people panic attacks overcoming adversity Asolo State Theater political anxiety how to listen aging liking Politifact sleep Noah Racey's Pulse communication skills happiness Kelly Swanson attitudes fact checking bipolar disorder magic act gratitude changing behaviors Colette Carlson parenting mattress recommendation dental practice selling happiness cell phone addiction Bill Stainton whiners best bed for bad back clinical depression confidence Lin-Manuel Miranda Tim Gard listening healthcare personal responsibility Conrad Hall funny video raising happy children divorce statistics motivation self-image difficult patients motivational speakers self confidence funny motivational speaker advertising airline pilots laughter understanding Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto reframing goal setting goal achievement motivational speaker success public speaking horror stories Gary Marachek happiness at work humorous motivational speaker unhappy employees Hamilton change negative thinking raving fans latex mattress review Viktor Frankl iPhone4S listening skills Tim Richardson brain chemistry time management passion losing weight Hillary Clinton humor personality types coping with anxiety conflict management anxiety communication model shakespeare marshmallow test depression truth attitude how to strengthen relationships remodel stress election 2016 Broadway beauty Christine Cashen habits personal development achieving success gender communication success facebook activity speaking nightmares motivational speaker southern accent building rapport effective communication funny motivational speakers lying in politics compassion linda larsen managing stress bottom line improvement achievements