Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen


How Your Rules Could Be Causing A Problem

By Linda Larsen - Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Featured Image

As a motivational speaker who talks a lot about what makes people happy and successful, it is CRYSTAL clear to me exactly what needs to happen in order for the world to run smoothly:

YOU need to give HIM the benefit of the doubt.

That IDIOTdriving 45 mph in the fast lane, needs to move over!

THAT clerk needs to smile and at least ACT like he's happy I'm giving him my money.

SHE needs to shut up.

THEY need to include HER.

HE needs to lose that ridiculous '70's tie-dyed t-shirt.

MY HUSBAND should NOT eat that whole plate of french fries! (See attached photo)

And on and on and on.

We ALL have rules about the way the world SHOULD work. But here's the problem. We ALL have rules about the way the world should work -AND a whole lot of our rules don't match.

Enter: Conflict.

So, here's my new rule: After we have our initial thought about "that's wrong; he shouldn't do that; she shouldn't wear that, etc," we start training ourselves to 1) stop and 2) immediately think, "MY rule, NOT hers." 

"Whoa. She should NEVER have said THAT!" Stop. My rule, not hers.

"He SHOULD have let ME have the first choice." Stop. My rule, not his.

"Why in heaven's name did she use THAT horrible color paint!!!" Stop. My rule. Clearly not hers.

Now here's the deal. If the behavior that you are reacting to affects you directly, it is your perfect right to simply ask for a new behavior. But here's the cool part - when you have NOT assigned a wrong/bad/stupd/idiotic motive behind that action - you won't have some high emotional charge impacting your communication. You will have a neutral, relaxed, calm demeanor when you ask if they would simply do "x" instead of "y". And that will increase the odds you will get what you are asking for.

So if you want to be happy, have fabulous relationships, and enjoy tremendous success in all areas of your life, then you should practice this technique... Wait...

Stop. My rule. Not yours...

Linda Larsen, Humorous Motivational Speaker
Helping people bring their finest, best & happiest self to life!

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!

Like this blog? Share it!

Recent Posts



Tag Cloud

Noah Racey's Pulse effective communication funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen divorce statistics overcoming adversity building character iPhone4S good night's sleep how to strengthen relationships Donald Trump Changing perspectives PhotoShop facebook activity cheerleading passion getting to yes self talk happiness at work Politifact Lin-Manuel Miranda motivational speakers Broadway election 2016 dental practice speaking nightmares personal growth clinical depression Tim Richardson friendships what you name the thing personal achievement Hillary Clinton communication model holiday stress panic attacks nonverbal communication handling fear magic act how to have high self-esteem liking how to happy linda larsen Conrad Hall achieving success motivational speaker on customer service selling happiness understanding motivation Meryl Runion confidence trust in relationships marriage appreciation customer service training difficult patients criticism tension stress management gripers laughter stressful elections conflict management costumes vision boards motivational speaker success goal setting stonewalling chronic back pain encouragement fact checking motivational speaker Brad Montgomery listening Asolo State Theater reframing how to deal with negative people public speaking horror stories customer service compassion motivational speaker complainers listening skills bottom line improvement personal responsibility finding humor coping with anxiety mattress recommendation how to listen mans search for meaning changing habits funny motivational speaker zig ziglar changing behaviors airline pilots actors the business of motivational speaker attitude change Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto motivational speaker on communication healthcare relationship building losing weight Kay Frances multi-tasking defensiveness attitudes marshmallow test fear of trump presidency political anxiety flying eyebrows bipolar disorder raising happy children habits truth in politics back relief Dr. Phil advertising building rapport personal development difficult people sleep time management depression controlling your emotional state dr. john gottman southern accent gift ideas Hamilton remodel stress power of a smile truth raving fans brain chemistry funny motivational speakers proactive people Viktor Frankl shakespeare self-image patient service Lenscrafters whiners positive perspective bucket list personality types gratitude Gary Marachek mental illness happiness happy customers goal achievement National Car Rental husbands who don't listen achievements funny video self confidence how to become a motivational speaker learning speak up how to get what you want contempt communication unhappy employees bad drivers managing stress gender communication expectations Kelly Swanson latex mattress review negative thinking anxiety communication skills humorous motivational speaker beauty American Idol joy high self-esteem acting parenting aging successful dental practices best bed for bad back humor motivational speaker Linda Larsen success lying in politics Shakespeare, thank-you notes cell phone addiction feeling good positive attitude dental practice strategies