Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen

Mar
2018

How Your Rules Could Be Causing A Problem

By Linda Larsen - Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Featured Image

As a motivational speaker who talks a lot about what makes people happy and successful, it is CRYSTAL clear to me exactly what needs to happen in order for the world to run smoothly:

YOU need to give HIM the benefit of the doubt.

That IDIOTdriving 45 mph in the fast lane, needs to move over!

THAT clerk needs to smile and at least ACT like he's happy I'm giving him my money.

SHE needs to shut up.

THEY need to include HER.

HE needs to lose that ridiculous '70's tie-dyed t-shirt.

MY HUSBAND should NOT eat that whole plate of french fries! (See attached photo)

And on and on and on.

We ALL have rules about the way the world SHOULD work. But here's the problem. We ALL have rules about the way the world should work -AND a whole lot of our rules don't match.

Enter: Conflict.

So, here's my new rule: After we have our initial thought about "that's wrong; he shouldn't do that; she shouldn't wear that, etc," we start training ourselves to 1) stop and 2) immediately think, "MY rule, NOT hers." 

"Whoa. She should NEVER have said THAT!" Stop. My rule, not hers.

"He SHOULD have let ME have the first choice." Stop. My rule, not his.

"Why in heaven's name did she use THAT horrible color paint!!!" Stop. My rule. Clearly not hers.

Now here's the deal. If the behavior that you are reacting to affects you directly, it is your perfect right to simply ask for a new behavior. But here's the cool part - when you have NOT assigned a wrong/bad/stupd/idiotic motive behind that action - you won't have some high emotional charge impacting your communication. You will have a neutral, relaxed, calm demeanor when you ask if they would simply do "x" instead of "y". And that will increase the odds you will get what you are asking for.

So if you want to be happy, have fabulous relationships, and enjoy tremendous success in all areas of your life, then you should practice this technique... Wait...

Stop. My rule. Not yours...

Linda Larsen, Humorous Motivational Speaker
Helping people bring their finest, best & happiest self to life!

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!



Like this blog? Share it!


Watch Linda in Action!

Recent Posts

Archive

Categories

Tag Cloud

Tim Gard relationship building National Car Rental managing stress cheerleading funny video depression Noah Racey's Pulse Bill Stainton motivation encouragement Hamilton how to strengthen relationships Kelly Swanson Colette Carlson attitudes acting Tim Richardson airline pilots feeling good difficult patients criticism bipolar disorder lying in politics motivational speaker on communication contempt husbands who don't listen Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto trust in relationships Lenscrafters goal setting unhappy employees attitude personal responsibility personal achievement high self-esteem vision boards truth in politics changing behaviors how to have high self-esteem motivational speaker Linda Larsen multi-tasking cell phone addiction Meryl Runion laughter American Idol customer service training confidence getting to yes marshmallow test passion southern accent brain chemistry understanding joy political anxiety magic act funny motivational speaker bottom line improvement difficult people zig ziglar expectations latex mattress review Shakespeare, thank-you notes election 2016 Hillary Clinton humor truth listening skills successful dental practices Asolo State Theater complainers gift ideas mattress recommendation proactive people coping with anxiety how to happy funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen healthcare iPhone4S happy customers fact checking happiness at work costumes tension friendships Conrad Hall humorous motivational speaker motivational speaker how to get what you want bucket list speak up gripers facebook activity negative thinking effective communication communication skills personality types flying eyebrows parenting reframing funny motivational speakers sleep controlling your emotional state self confidence gratitude advertising habits bad drivers stonewalling overcoming adversity raising happy children stressful elections what you name the thing building character panic attacks good night's sleep power of a smile nonverbal communication actors how to become a motivational speaker finding humor communication model building rapport Broadway beauty holiday stress mental illness time management dental practice losing weight defensiveness aging Lin-Manuel Miranda Christine Cashen marriage self-image linda larsen clinical depression Politifact motivational speaker on customer service Brian Walter achievements happiness self talk back relief public speaking horror stories chronic back pain dr. john gottman conflict management Changing perspectives liking communication listening bill cosby fear of trump presidency speaking nightmares customer service goal achievement whiners mans search for meaning selling happiness remodel stress patient service motivational speakers how to deal with negative people PhotoShop anxiety shakespeare personal growth handling fear divorce statistics best bed for bad back personal development Donald Trump Dr. Phil gender communication raving fans Gary Marachek motivational speaker Brad Montgomery motivational speaker success how to listen success Viktor Frankl change achieving success stress management positive attitude the business of motivational speaker dental practice strategies positive perspective changing habits appreciation compassion