Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Certified Virtual Presenter

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen


How Your Rules Could Be Causing A Problem

By Linda Larsen - Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Featured Image

As a motivational speaker who talks a lot about what makes people happy and successful, it is CRYSTAL clear to me exactly what needs to happen in order for the world to run smoothly:

YOU need to give HIM the benefit of the doubt.

That IDIOTdriving 45 mph in the fast lane, needs to move over!

THAT clerk needs to smile and at least ACT like he's happy I'm giving him my money.

SHE needs to shut up.

THEY need to include HER.

HE needs to lose that ridiculous '70's tie-dyed t-shirt.

MY HUSBAND should NOT eat that whole plate of french fries! (See attached photo)

And on and on and on.

We ALL have rules about the way the world SHOULD work. But here's the problem. We ALL have rules about the way the world should work -AND a whole lot of our rules don't match.

Enter: Conflict.

So, here's my new rule: After we have our initial thought about "that's wrong; he shouldn't do that; she shouldn't wear that, etc," we start training ourselves to 1) stop and 2) immediately think, "MY rule, NOT hers." 

"Whoa. She should NEVER have said THAT!" Stop. My rule, not hers.

"He SHOULD have let ME have the first choice." Stop. My rule, not his.

"Why in heaven's name did she use THAT horrible color paint!!!" Stop. My rule. Clearly not hers.

Now here's the deal. If the behavior that you are reacting to affects you directly, it is your perfect right to simply ask for a new behavior. But here's the cool part - when you have NOT assigned a wrong/bad/stupd/idiotic motive behind that action - you won't have some high emotional charge impacting your communication. You will have a neutral, relaxed, calm demeanor when you ask if they would simply do "x" instead of "y". And that will increase the odds you will get what you are asking for.

So if you want to be happy, have fabulous relationships, and enjoy tremendous success in all areas of your life, then you should practice this technique... Wait...

Stop. My rule. Not yours...

Linda Larsen, Humorous Motivational Speaker
Helping people bring their finest, best & happiest self to life!

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!

Like this blog? Share it!

Recent Posts



Tag Cloud

holiday stress dental practice building character truth Donald Trump achieving success difficult people patient service Hamilton expectations funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen Dr. Phil the business of motivational speaker brain chemistry flying eyebrows gratitude proactive people fear of trump presidency communication skills time management defensiveness positive perspective nonverbal communication raising happy children funny motivational speakers motivational speakers stonewalling husbands who don't listen how to happy power of a smile magic act communication whiners political anxiety zig ziglar Viktor Frankl effective communication funny motivational speaker listening skills mans search for meaning contempt successful dental practices understanding best bed for bad back goal achievement shakespeare mental illness parenting stressful elections southern accent dental practice strategies reframing Asolo State Theater lying in politics dr. john gottman customer service training costumes Politifact Broadway finding humor selling happiness raving fans motivation Tim Richardson listening gripers how to strengthen relationships Lin-Manuel Miranda managing stress funny video learning personal achievement American Idol latex mattress review difficult patients divorce statistics truth in politics liking tension self confidence conflict management motivational speaker success Covid 19 coping with anxiety election 2016 fact checking joy how to become a motivational speaker Conrad Hall marriage PhotoShop Kelly Swanson happiness at work personality types positive attitude linda larsen happy customers actors iPhone4S feeling good clinical depression Lenscrafters healthcare stress management bad drivers changing habits attitude losing weight trust in relationships cheerleading appreciation high self-esteem National Car Rental remodel stress customer service negative thinking gender communication overcoming adversity chronic back pain humor Changing perspectives criticism sleep customer service secrets motivational speaker on communication goal setting facebook activity how to have high self-esteem mattress recommendation passion encouragement multi-tasking motivational speaker Linda Larsen attitudes cell phone addiction humorous motivational speaker personal growth bipolar disorder depression Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto handling fear motivational speaker on customer service changing behaviors Delta acting aging vision boards bucket list coronavirus success communication model personal responsibility speaking nightmares confidence back relief what you name the thing airline pilots public speaking horror stories self talk Kay Frances personal development speak up Gary Marachek advertising how to deal with negative people self-image complainers motivational speaker habits compassion gift ideas how to get what you want panic attacks bottom line improvement getting to yes good night's sleep Hillary Clinton Noah Racey's Pulse relationship building friendships beauty marshmallow test unhappy employees change how to listen motivational speaker Brad Montgomery Shakespeare, thank-you notes laughter achievements Meryl Runion controlling your emotional state anxiety building rapport happiness