Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen

Mar
2018

How Your Rules Could Be Causing A Problem

By Linda Larsen - Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Featured Image

As a motivational speaker who talks a lot about what makes people happy and successful, it is CRYSTAL clear to me exactly what needs to happen in order for the world to run smoothly:

YOU need to give HIM the benefit of the doubt.

That IDIOTdriving 45 mph in the fast lane, needs to move over!

THAT clerk needs to smile and at least ACT like he's happy I'm giving him my money.

SHE needs to shut up.

THEY need to include HER.

HE needs to lose that ridiculous '70's tie-dyed t-shirt.

MY HUSBAND should NOT eat that whole plate of french fries! (See attached photo)

And on and on and on.

We ALL have rules about the way the world SHOULD work. But here's the problem. We ALL have rules about the way the world should work -AND a whole lot of our rules don't match.

Enter: Conflict.

So, here's my new rule: After we have our initial thought about "that's wrong; he shouldn't do that; she shouldn't wear that, etc," we start training ourselves to 1) stop and 2) immediately think, "MY rule, NOT hers." 

"Whoa. She should NEVER have said THAT!" Stop. My rule, not hers.

"He SHOULD have let ME have the first choice." Stop. My rule, not his.

"Why in heaven's name did she use THAT horrible color paint!!!" Stop. My rule. Clearly not hers.

Now here's the deal. If the behavior that you are reacting to affects you directly, it is your perfect right to simply ask for a new behavior. But here's the cool part - when you have NOT assigned a wrong/bad/stupd/idiotic motive behind that action - you won't have some high emotional charge impacting your communication. You will have a neutral, relaxed, calm demeanor when you ask if they would simply do "x" instead of "y". And that will increase the odds you will get what you are asking for.

So if you want to be happy, have fabulous relationships, and enjoy tremendous success in all areas of your life, then you should practice this technique... Wait...

Stop. My rule. Not yours...

Linda Larsen, Humorous Motivational Speaker
Helping people bring their finest, best & happiest self to life!

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!



Like this blog? Share it!



Recent Posts

Archive

Categories

Tag Cloud

bipolar disorder expectations motivational speaker success cheerleading building rapport passion appreciation liking proactive people sleep changing behaviors feeling good funny motivational speaker PhotoShop personal achievement Lenscrafters depression change high self-esteem motivational speaker on customer service Viktor Frankl effective communication stress management facebook activity encouragement controlling your emotional state listening skills gripers happy customers motivational speaker Brad Montgomery power of a smile humor Shakespeare, thank-you notes Politifact happiness at work understanding how to listen compassion Kelly Swanson bad drivers goal achievement airline pilots getting to yes fact checking anxiety difficult people political anxiety motivational speaker on communication defensiveness Meryl Runion how to become a motivational speaker southern accent speak up overcoming adversity back relief how to get what you want best bed for bad back holiday stress husbands who don't listen costumes election 2016 joy gift ideas clinical depression Changing perspectives self talk panic attacks bottom line improvement Dr. Phil conflict management contempt stressful elections learning Kay Frances communication model parenting Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto the business of motivational speaker negative thinking marshmallow test managing stress criticism good night's sleep friendships Gary Marachek successful dental practices achievements Hamilton aging personal development raising happy children personal responsibility nonverbal communication shakespeare marriage how to strengthen relationships handling fear selling happiness dental practice changing habits gratitude Donald Trump building character zig ziglar positive attitude motivation Lin-Manuel Miranda how to have high self-esteem cell phone addiction reframing coping with anxiety listening American Idol humorous motivational speaker Conrad Hall iPhone4S National Car Rental laughter funny video public speaking horror stories losing weight success confidence mattress recommendation complainers advertising personality types fear of trump presidency what you name the thing attitude self-image motivational speaker acting linda larsen actors achieving success vision boards stonewalling truth in politics funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen divorce statistics happiness magic act tension habits funny motivational speakers patient service dr. john gottman dental practice strategies communication healthcare remodel stress speaking nightmares goal setting multi-tasking customer service training Tim Richardson Broadway attitudes relationship building Asolo State Theater motivational speakers whiners personal growth bucket list gender communication customer service communication skills raving fans finding humor brain chemistry unhappy employees mental illness motivational speaker Linda Larsen flying eyebrows how to deal with negative people self confidence difficult patients positive perspective beauty time management how to happy chronic back pain lying in politics Noah Racey's Pulse latex mattress review trust in relationships Hillary Clinton mans search for meaning truth