In the last few years, one of my main areas of focus when I’m speaking to a corporation or association is on how to communicate effectively in business as a leader, customer service provider, or team member, or in personal life with family, friends (and with yourself.) My early work in this domain, however, was with trial lawyers. I helped them communicate more persuasively and clearly in the high stakes environment of the courtroom. So when I saw a report on a recent trial, it made me stop and think.
Here is some Insider information from someone overseeing the jurors’ deliberations the aforementioned trial: Apparently the jurors were NOT happy about the fact that the attorneys for the prosecution never said “good morning” to them each day, but the defense lawyers always did.
What? Which lawyers said “good morning” to them actually became a topic of conversation?
Apparently it did. And that makes us wonder – is it even possible that the “perceived” unkindness of the prosecution factored in ANY way whatsoever with the jurors’ verdict? We would all hope not. But I feel fairly certain that if they indeed DID perceive the prosecution team to be unkind – they would have been wrong. But does it actually matter that they would have been wrong?
Consider these three communication principles:
- Everything you do or say, and how you do or say it (including what you do NOT say or do) communicates something
- The meaning of any piece of communication lies only in what the receiver PERCEIVES it to mean
- The receiver of the communication RESPONDS in a manner consistent with that perception
All this tells me that perhaps one of our greatest tasks in life is to be able to effectively manage other people’s perceptions of us.
So I’m curious – when was the last time someone thought YOU weren’t being kind? I’ll bet they were wrong, weren’t they?
